


What Should Have Been Said

by Aouregan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Betrayal, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-05-08 01:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aouregan/pseuds/Aouregan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had no idea that telling Morgana his deepest secret would lead to a far more deadlier consequence than he had ever imagined. He thought that if he said his secret out loud that it would save Camelot from destruction and force Morgana to see reason. However, he found that the only destruction that he caused was his own.</p><p>Inspired by season three's episode of 'The Tears of Uther Pendragon'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been lying dormant on my account on FFN for a few years now. After I revisited the story to see whether I wanted to continue on with it as planned, I rediscovered my love for the storyline, and decided that it was worth writing more for it.
> 
> The original story plan called for a sequel to this story, but I believe that this will now remain as a standalone story that shouldn't have additional parts added to it. The second chapter will be published before Christmas.

The sound of swords clashing together echoed along the walls of the tomb, a sharp noise that made Merlin lose concentration for a few moments and search around the empty burial chamber and away from Morgana's sudden and relentless attack. Merlin had considered before that the confused and bitter ward of the king would fight anybody who stood in her way- what he hadn't counted on was that he himself would be that person and he was still confused by how fate and destiny worked so deviously together when Morgana's vicious attack finally seemed to triumph over his feeble attempt to defend himself. The sword clattered to the floor, useless now as Morgana advanced with a sneer on her once kind face.

_The great battle for Camelot has begun._

Merlin remembered those words of warning that the Great Dragon had told him, the warning that had come out as a riddle to Merlin and one that he had been trying to decode since the night that the words had been spoken to him.

He found himself distracted by the brightness of the magical staff and felt the power pulsate through the room. He knew that he would have to destroy the staff soon or it would be too late for Camelot to be saved- Merlin had the sinking feeling that even Camelot's own elite knight's would not be able to hold on for much longer, especially since he saw them fighting a battle on two different fronts. They would need to focus on the more pressing danger and fast or all would be lost- Camelot would be in enemy hands.

"Didn't I tell you to get away while you still can?" Morgana hissed between clenched teeth as she followed Merlin, her sword rose defensively as her body crouched down like a cat waiting to pounce upon a mouse. "You don't know what powers I have, do you?"

Merlin gulped. "I know that you have magic, Morgana." He paused as he searched the room for a source of distraction, anything to force Morgana to take her attention from him as he sought out his sword- unwilling to fight Morgana with his magic just yet, almost hoping that he could talk some sense into the king’s ward himself but knowing that it was impossible. He found nothing but empty tombs where moments before skeletal remains had rested within them; Merlin focused his attention on Morgan and began to seek out the woman he knew to be hidden deep within her bitter heart. "The Morgana I used to know would be incapable of doing this; she’d be unable to become so heartless.”

Morgana laughed shrilly, a horrible sound that forced Merlin to cover his ears and duck his head as pieces of the ceiling came loose and fell to the floor around him. "You think that Morgause is the one who wants this, Merlin?" She asked suddenly, her voice curious.

“I don’t think that you really want this. All this violence isn’t like you at all.”

"People change, Merlin. Nobody stays the same forever.”

Merlin did not have an answer to what Morgana had said and instead remained silent. Was it possible for a person to change so drastically? Where one moment they appear to be friends and the next to be nothing more than enemies? He supposed she was right- people do change and while some prefer to change for the good, others choose a worse path to changing themselves.

"Morgana, please listen to me," he said desperately. "You are using your magic for bad and I know that the gift that you have been born with can be used for good."

"Merlin, stop with your lies!" Morgana said coldly. "There is no good magic in this world according to Uther, but I plan to change that when we achieve in our plans. All you are doing is standing in my way!"

"In the way of what? Is it power you seek, Morgana?" Merlin asked. "There are better ways in achieving that and you know it."

Morgana smirked. "What we have planned will be more terrifying than you could ever imagine, Merlin. It will bring Camelot to her knees and we will rise triumphantly to claim her."

Merlin had no response to this as he wondered what exactly Morgana and Morgause had planned for Camelot; however he knew that whatever was planned as not going to bode well for Arthur or the knights. His back suddenly pushed against something and looking behind him, he found that he had been pressed into the wall by Morgana and was now at her mercy.

"I have magic, Merlin," Morgana whispered suddenly, as if she wanted to explain her actions to him and suddenly she looked like the woman that Merlin knew. "It will be a swift death sentence if I were to say this to Uther or to Arthur."

"Do you think that what you are doing is going to change Uther's mind about magic?" Merlin asked taking Morgana's momentary calm to his advantage and taking a step away from the wall. "If anything Morgana, this will harden his heart more. I know Uther's war with magic through Gaius, all the horrors that he has done to villages and families. He's heartless and cold and he will become more unforgiving and cruel if he finds out that you are behind the events of the past few weeks."

"He deserves this," Morgana hissed, suddenly coming out of her reverie. "He deserves losing his kingdom and watching as his people die as he watched the execution of hundreds of innocents!"

"Then you're as bad as he is!" Merlin cried out in anger and hurt. "By killing innocent people like Uther does will do nothing but cause you to have a bitter and hostile heart. One that will hold the guilt of going down the same path that Uther went on!"

“No, I am killing a murderer!” Morgana cried out in a voice that echoed along the cavernous room. “How can he deserve a kingdom when he kills those he had sworn to protect? Those people were innocent, the ones he had executed. He does not care who he kills whether it be a man, woman or child. Some did not even have magic, Merlin! He wiped out an entire family because of a mere rumour!”

“Does that give you the right to judge a man based on his faults?”

The question seemed to surprise Morgana because she stopped advancing and took her gaze away from him. In the distance a long drawn out scream was heard and for a moment, Merlin imagined for a split second that he had heard Arthur’s battle cry pierce the night and visualised a group of knights loyally surrounding their crown prince as they charged towards the enemy.

He tried once again to get through to her while her mind was elsewhere, wishing that she would listen to him and see sense. Hoping that the old Morgana would come back to them and stop the hatred and bitterness she felt and become friends with those that she now viewed as enemies. “Morgana, there is another way. You don’t need to resort to measures such as this. If you are seeking a world where magic is accepted you first need to harness your gift for good before that can happen.”

“You have no magic, Merlin,” scoffed Morgana. “You don’t know what it is like to be an outsider. You don’t know how it feels to be terrified of who you are and what will happen if somebody finds out about your secret. You can’t trust anybody with a secret such as mine.”

“Morgause is using you, Morgana! Can’t you see that? You can’t trust her like you can us. She is using you for her own personal gain. I realised that after what happened. You have friends here that you can trust with your life!”

“No, I had friends that I thought I could trust with my life!” Morgana snarled as she brought her sword up once again and swung. Merlin jumped out of the way just in time and ducked as Morgana aimed for his head. “I trusted you and you did nothing but poison me!”

How could he explain to her that he had felt the magic within her that day? How could he possibly explain the Great Dragon’s advice that he had to kill her because she was a vessel for the sleeping sickness that had abruptly swept through Camelot? Breaking through the defences and putting everyone in danger, not just Arthur and himself but the whole kingdom. He couldn’t do that without telling her his own secret.

No! He couldn’t tell her, not now when she was like this. When she made herself untrustworthy for doing Morgause’s bidding. How could he trust somebody who hated him for the sin he committed? When she was the king’s ward and threatened him that she would tell Uther about what he did? If he told her his secret now, that would bring nothing but disaster his way, a swift execution for being who he was and hiding it from them all. He knew that once Uther’s mind was made up with a judgement that nobody could sway him from it, not even Arthur. Though he supposed the question was if he were found out for the magic he was born with would be, would Arthur understand? Would he be there for Merlin if that time came? He didn’t want to find out that answer just yet.

Still he could not help but wince at the words that Morgana had said just now. He closed his eyes at that awful memory as her struggles for breath once again came to him, the struggle that she had put up as he held her in his arms as her breath left her. He didn’t want to poison her, had meant to find out another way through the Great Dragon but he gave him no other alternative, no magic spell or enchantment to cast to break the sickness and return things to normal. To have an army of soldiers fight and bring down Morgause so that the Knights of Medhir could be defeated. He had to save Camelot; he had to protect the people that he cared about.

“Morgana, I didn’t want to do it. You were used by Morgause as a vessel for the enchantment, she made everybody fall asleep. I was at a loss; I didn’t know what else to do. I was told there was no other way.”

“You were told to have me poisoned? I doubt that is what happened, Merlin. Morgause told me all about it. Hemlock poison wasn’t it?”

“I bargained with Morgause to relieve the enchantment in return for your life,” said Merlin distraught now. “I didn’t want to see you die. I wouldn’t have ever forgiven myself if you died in my arms that day...”

Morgana looked stony; it was obvious that she was told something different. “Stop with your lies, Merlin! You are the reason why I changed. I want this as much as Morgause does.”

“Are you really that blind to her intentions? She tricks people into doing her dirty work; you are a pawn in her game Morgana.”

 _“Your words mean nothing to me, Merlin!”_ She charged forward and began to swing her sword once more.

_She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love._

Again the Great Dragon’s voice rang out in his mind, the warning that he gave to Merlin when he had found out about Morgana. As he was pressed backwards from the attack, Merlin found himself wondering how exactly the Dragon knew of these matters and what to say. However he could not help but feel that Kilgarah was wrong when it came to Morgana, she wasn’t evil and it wasn’t too late for Merlin to teach her to harness her magic for good.

Perhaps if Morgana didn't feel so alone in carrying a secret that could get her killed, a secret that forced a person to feel like an outsider and to hide who they truly were because the fear of Uther forced them to keep their silence, to keep what they were a secret from their friends and strangers because Uther would have them executed for it... then she wouldn't be doing this right now.

The thought came to Merlin so suddenly that it took him a while to fully accept that this was the answer to everything... even if it meant Morgana turning him in to Uther after this was done. He should have told her this when he first found out that his friend had magic, should have told her the truth so that she would have known that she was never alone in dealing with this. If he had told her that he was a sorcerer before then none of this would be happening and Morgana wouldn't be so hateful towards him.

"Morgana you are not alone in this," Merlin said, catching her off guard. "There are lots of people who have magic and you have to consider them as well. What would Uther do if he found out that you were behind this? People of magic would have to go into hiding or risk capture and death; Uther will not have them on trial because he'll think of your betrayal... he'll send them to their death the moment that he sees them."

"He sends them to their deaths anyway," Morgana snapped. "The moment that he hears that they are being accused of sorcery his mind is made up.”

"I understand that you hate him Morgana," Merlin told her. "Keeping a secret to yourself is a hard thing to do... especially one that's so terrifying."

"What do you know of secrets?" Morgana asked Merlin. "You have no magic, you have no terrible secret that you must keep to yourself or risk Uther sending you to your death."

Merlin gave her a look of sadness, not realizing how difficult this was going to be. If he told Morgana the truth about what he was he too risked everything, he risked the fact that Morgana could betray his trust and go to Uther with this information and he risked a lot more than ruining his friendship with her, he risked his life if anybody else were to find out.

With a shake of his head he decided to tell her his secret and hoped that he could ease her pain of keeping a secret so deadly.

"No I do have a secret that I have never told anybody," Merlin said his heart beating fast as he wondered whether or not she could be trusted. "A secret so much like yours that we are the same."

Morgana stopped in her tracks when she heard this and she eyed Merlin in curiosity. "What do you mean? You have a secret like mine as well?"

Merlin nodded grimly, finally glad that he had her full attention now. "You and I have the same thing in common, the same secret that we guard with our lives."

Morgana was shocked when she heard this bit of information and she interrupted Merlin as he tried to speak again. Suddenly everything made sense to her, the way that Merlin survived the enchantment that Morgause put him under... everything else made perfect sense as well and in her shock she said out loud:

"You're a sorcerer... a person of magic?" Morgana was thoughtful. "Everything makes perfect sense now! How you and Arthur seem to survive everything, how you survived when Morgause put you under that enchantment."

Merlin sighed, now that he told Morgana his secret he felt better. "Yes I guess it does."

But suddenly Morgana turned angry. Angry that Merlin kept a secret from her and the rest of his friends, angry that he hadn't bothered to say anything until now, and angry that he didn't trust her before when they were close friends.

Morgana made to lunge at him with her sword in hand but before she could move a step the sound of Merlin muttering a few words under his breath and the sound of the rocks above her head begin to crash down upon her reached her ears.

And as she lay on the floor as more rocks crashed around her she heard Merlin's voice whisper an enchantment and watched as Merlin raised the sword in his hand, before hitting the magic staff with all his might.

She watched as the staff shattered as if it were made of nothing but glass, the pieces fell to the floor of the tomb and shone as the last of the magic died. Morgana lost consciousness not long afterwards, she realised that everything was finished- she had failed Morgause.

Panting from the effort it took to break the staff's magic that was more powerful than he realized Merlin remembered another thing that the Great Dragon had told him before he had come back to Camelot.

_Trust is like a double-edged sword._

He only hoped that Morgana could be trusted with his secret. Just like he hoped that the Great Dragon was wrong about her.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who has left kudos and comments to the previous chapter. The third chapter is going to be coming soon now that I've gotten back 'into the swing of things'. What a strange idiom. However, now that I have gotten back into the rhythm of writing, I find that the writing of this story is going far more smoothly than it ever did before.

It was the sound of footsteps outside the door of the physician’s chambers that caused Merlin to panic, not the look of intense anger that quickly turned to alarm on Gaius' face. For a moment the two of them sat across from each other in silence, not daring to look at each other. It seemed as though they were waiting for the knock on the door, the sharp orders from the guards or even from Arthur himself, the declaration of arrest that would take Merlin directly to the king of Camelot for a trial before the courts. A trial was what Merlin hoped would happen to him if anyone were to find out about his magic. However, he knew that it was uncommon for Uther to grant even this most basic of courtesies to those accused of sorcery.

The silence began to unnerve him. He suddenly felt what it must be like for the mad- that uncertainty of what lies ahead, the constant fear that somebody close to him would find out about him, and the feeling of knowing that he was different, that he alone carried the burden of being so, overwhelmed him. Across from him, Gaius began to feel the effects of the silence. Merlin could see from his mentor's expressions, the way he played with his hands and the wide assortment of utensils that were upon the table that Gaius was nervous.

They waited with abated breath as the footsteps paused outside the door, long enough for Gaius to throw an anguished look towards Merlin, before miraculously continuing down the long hallway towards the staircase.

Merlin relinquished the breath that had been held for those long moments of unknowing, then lifted his eyes to Gaius. "See? I told you that it wasn't a guard."

He knew that he had said the wrong thing the moment that the words left his mouth. He cursed himself for his stupidity and attempt at making light of the danger he was now in. He saw Gaius' mouth twitch in agitation, the blue eyes dangerous as they focused on his own, and the knitted brows. A sure sign of just how angry Gaius was with him at the moment.

"How could you have been so stupid?" Gaius hissed, throwing a panicked look towards the door as though an intruder stood outside with their ear pressed against the door. In great agitation, he got up and went to the door and threw it open to stick his head out. Satisfied that there was no one there, he quietly closed and bolted the door and came back to the table. He rubbed his eyes the moment he sat down and peered at Merlin with such concern that the young man felt terrible that he had committed the crime. "Nobody must know that you have magic, Merlin. You know that as well as I do. The wrong ears can hear and go straight to Uther."

"I told Morgana, Gaius." Merlin felt as though a new weight was being lowered upon his shoulders. "She wouldn't go against her own kind, would she?"

"There's no telling what she'll do now that she knows. She's not the Morgana that you and I have known for all these years. She's on the side of Morgause now."

"But surely..."

Gaius gently interrupted him. "If she's on the side of Morgause, she may regard you as a threat to their plans. She knows more than anyone that you will fight on the side of Arthur and will not be persuaded to do otherwise. That is why I told you to be cautious around her, Merlin. Now that she knows that you are a sorcerer, she may do something to harm you."

For the first time that night, Merlin felt tired. He longed for the soft bed that awaited him and the warmth of the blankets that would gently ease him to sleep. However, he knew that even if he did retire to his bedchamber that sleep would elude him tonight. His mind raced with images and fragments of spoken words. He remembered the surge of powerful magic that went through him as he got closer to the magical staff that Morgana had slammed into the ground. Her eyes had been manic when he found her, as though the magic within the staff was going through her.

He closed his eyes at the memory as if it were blocking some terrible truth. As much as he wished that it wasn't actually Morgana in that tomb that her mind had been possessed by Morgause's evil magic- he couldn't shake the ominious feeling that Morgana had acted of her own free will, and would if opportunity presented itself, do it again.

Slowly he exhaled as this realisation sunk in. He hadn't thought that Morgana would have done such terrible acts willingly. His eyes snapped open, his anger getting the best of him. Why hadn't he seen this coming? He had been foolish to believe that Morgana had forgiven him for what he had done to her all those months ago. He felt angry with himself that he had allowed himself to believe that their friendship was being mended, and that things would settle back to how they were before such tragedy unfolded.

Merlin surveyed the room before him, looking anywhere but at Gaius whose eyes asked too many questions that he could never answer. His eyes fell on a pile of books that took up nearly half the space of a work bench on the far side of the room. He felt a sudden urge to pick one of these up, to leaf through it and to see if he could find a resolution to his problems, but he didn't dare move. Not when Gaius wasn't yet finished with him, and from the look on his uncle's face, he knew that the man wasn't yet finished with his reprimand.

As though Gaius read his mind, his face tensed and his eyes were cold. He regarded Merlin in silence, almost as though in thought, as though he was struggling to come up with the words he truly wanted to say. For a moment, he looked uncertain of himself. A moment later, his face crumbled as though life had been sucked out of him. His anger was replaced by something that terrified the young man before him, a look of fear and worry.

"Listen to me, Merlin." Gaius looked away from him for a moment as his voice wavered. He blinked several times before he brought his gaze back. His eyes bored straight into Merlin's with such intensity that the young warlock almost looked away. There was something about this look that prevented him from tearing his gaze away from his mentor's. "Morgana is not the same person we know. She's dangerous now. Far more dangerous than you can possibly know. She'll get rid of you in any way she could. Now that she is being taught to control her own magic, she is becoming more powerful and as her power grows so does the threat that she will present to Camelot."

"Morgana is being taught dark magic."

"With a teacher such as the one that she's got, can you blame her? Morgause is a powerful witch, Merlin. She not only knows the old ways, but she knows the darkest of magic that not even you can hope to know. Now that Morgana knows your secret, you can guarantee that Morgause will also know of it very soon."

Merlin suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He hadn't thought of Morgause at all when he had approached Morgana early that night. She was mentioned of course, but he hadn't given her too much consideration- she hadn't been the one trying to bring Camelot down to her knees from the inside. From what he had heard, the witch had been thwarted before she had even entered the city gates. All that he had thought about was trying to talk some sense into Morgana, and in some way let her know that she wasn't alone in carrying a secret clenched tight to her heart. There wasn't a moment that he had thought of the consequences of what he had done when he had told her that he had magic. He had just assumed that she would understand... that she would be relieved with the knowledge that she wasn't the only one within the walls of Camelot that hid who they were from the rest of the world.

He hid his face in his hands as he fought hard to control his breathing. He had inadvertently put himself in more danger when he thought he was doing the right thing. Suddenly he found that he couldn't remain sitting for much longer, and he sprang to his feet as though he had sat on something wet.

"Maybe she won't tell," Merlin mumbled distractedly as he paced the length of the table and back to where Gaius sat with his hands still clasped in front of him. He ignored the look of concern that overcame his uncle's features as he pressed on. "No, she wouldn't..." he sputtered to a stop, looked wildly about him and struggled to speak the words that he wanted to say. Finally he collected himself, though he still had yet to manage his wildly beating heart and the feeling that he was about to be sick. "Would she really do that, Gaius? Maybe she will come to her senses and will understand that there is somebody that is like her. She knows that there is somebody else that can help her with her magic, to understand it better and to control it. She won't be on Morgause's side for much longer. Not now when she knows that I am here."

"If only it was that easy." Gaius peered over at him sadly. He had unclenched his hands at last and picked up a strange medical instrument that Merlin had never seen before. For a moment Gaius examined it critically, before he snorted and threw it back down on the table with a look of bemusement. He returned his attention back to Merlin who stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes distant. "Sometimes things don't go as we plan, Merlin. We may think we know what is right and we try to help a person that is dear to us, but sometimes the other person is not willing to listen. We cannot control everything that happens in life. Even if we try hard to."

Merlin listened to him without protest. He knew that when it came to these things that Gaius was far wiser than he was. His uncle had lived a difficult life in his own youth with people he had thought were his friends and who had betrayed him to Uther Pendragon the first chance they got if it meant that they could save their own lives. Even when Uther had made him court physician and treated him as though he were an advisor and later a trusted confidant, life had been difficult. However, Gaius had lived through all the hardships that had been thrown at him, and had a great understanding of life as a result. Merlin appreciated all the advice he received from his mentor, even if he disagreed with it at first.

With a sigh, Merlin sat down heavily in the chair that he had vacated moments earlier. He rubbed at his eyes and with his head leaning against his arm, he looked towards Gaius. His eyes sought for the familiar sea of blue, and held on tight. "You think I made a mistake don't you, Gaius?"

Gaius breathed in sharply but didn't respond right away. Only after a few moments of thoughtful silence did he open his mouth to speak. "I think that you did what you thought was right. It isn't a mistake if you had that in mind, Merlin. Unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with the consequences that always arise out of such situations."

Merlin nodded his head to show that he understood what Gaius had said to him. His head ached horribly now, and he absently rubbed at his temples as Gaius got slowly to his feet. It felt as though his fight with Morgana took place nights ago, though it had only happened just a few hours before. For the first time since he had left the crypt, he began to feel the pain of his injuries. Gaius had done his best at disinfecting the scrapes and cuts, and had patched up the worst of the cuts as he listened in silence to what Merlin had to say.

It was the first time, Merlin mused, that Gaius had been rough with him. He had been unnaturally stiff as he applied the bandages, and had remained tight-lipped long after he was done his work. It had been the first time that Merlin had truly seen his guardian so angry in all the years he had known him.

A soft hand on his arm startled him from his reverie; Gaius was beside him holding a glass vial in his hand. A light green liquid was inside it; the pleasant smell of peppermint made its way to Merlin's nostrils and immediately soothed him.

"It's a draught for your headache," Gaius said as he handed the vial into Merlin's hands. "Peppermint is the only thing that I have right now that can soothe pains like that. The rest of my medicine and herbs had to be used on the wounded from tonight's surprise attack."

Merlin gulped back the draught in one go and swallowed. The peppermint was strong, but pleasant to taste. It would take a few minutes for the medicine to work, but already he could feel it refreshing his system. His eyes fell on Gaius who nodded grimly.

"We've had a long night, Merlin. We should go get some much needed rest. I have the feeling that the next few days will be our busiest." He gathered together a few extra blankets that were piled up on a chair, along with a few extra pillows, and went towards his own bed that had been placed on the opposite wall. He turned back to Merlin with a comforting smile. "We can talk tomorrow. Right now, however, it is for the best that we get some rest."

Merlin smiled as he nodded his head in agreement. He felt as though exhaustion had crept into his bones, and he slowly made his way to his bedchambers where after he closed the door, had fallen straight into bed without undressing, and drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

Merlin felt as though he had only closed his eyes for a few minutes before he woke up with a start. His heart thumped loudly in his chest as he stared around at the darkness in terrified silence. He found it difficult to breathe, as though a heavy weight had been placed on his chest, and he struggled for a few moments to catch his breath. His eyes began to grow accustomed to the dark, so that the terrifying shapes that appeared like monsters began to take their true form. A large trunk that was at the end of his bed held an assortment of books that Gaius had given him in a vain attempt to learn the trade of the Physician.

Despite himself, Merlin found that he was smiling. It wasn’t the fact that he found medicine to be boring, as a matter of fact, he discovered that he was quite interested in the topic. It was the fact that Gaius frowned on the use of magic while making medicine that Merlin found extremely problematic.

However, he found that this was not the time to dwell on Gaius and medicine. He felt the presence of powerful magic in Camelot. It had taken him a few minutes to figure out that it was for this reason that he had woken up in the first place. His own magic had picked up on something that was far stronger than what he could manage, and for a few moments he wondered in panicked silence if an object more powerful than what lay broken in the ossuary was being smuggled into Camelot. He remembered how ill he had felt since Morgana’s return, and how his magic nearly bubbled to the surface in the days leading up to the attack against the kingdom.

_“Merlin.”_

The voice nearly caused him to fall out of his bed as he tried to sit and roll out of his blankets at the same time. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest as he waited with bated breath for the sound of an intruder. He debated calling out for Gaius, but thought better of it when the magic deep within him boiled just beneath the surface. It was an overwhelming sensation that Merlin felt move within him.

He pushed away the blanket that covered him and slowly got to his feet. He shivered as his bare feet hit the cold floor, but moved quickly to the window and pulled away the curtain so that he could see outside. The moon was out tonight, providing a gentle light to those that were still up. He caught sight of a large group of knights as they patrolled the road nearest to the servants’ quarters. They moved slowly and carefully over rubble and around larger debris that was too dangerous for them to go over. The wail of a baby in the rooms next door startled him enough that he nearly tripped over a chair that was covered with linens.

_“Merlin.”_

He hit his head hard on the shelf that was near his bed. Angrily he rubbed at the spot and cursed silently at the pain. The voice was familiar to him, but it seemed that in his anguish, he found it impossible to place a name to that particular voice.

Then it suddenly hit him. He quickly moved across the room and grabbed for his boots and put them on. His heart panged in his chest as he thought of this voice and how difficult it was going to be to tell the owner of that voice the latest betrayal. It had been hard enough admitting that Morgana had returned and was back to her old ways, but he suspected that this time around, he would be lucky to escape from this encounter unscathed.

_“Merlin.”_

_“Kilgharrah.”_

Merlin repeated the name in his head nervously. There was every possibility that the Great Dragon already knew what Merlin had done, but he sincerely hoped that Kilgharrah was calling to him for a different reason. He hesitated by the bedroom door for a moment as he thought things through more. Was it really for the best (in Merlin’s case) that the dragon didn’t know about recent events before he arrived in Camelot?

He mulled over this question as he cautiously opened his bedroom door and poked his head out cautiously. Gaius was fast asleep near the fireplace that had burnt out hours earlier. The table that served as both a work bench and kitchen table contained a wide selection of herbs that were drying overnight and glass vials that Gaius reserved for his medicines. The path from his bedchambers to the outer door was free of debris, but he still tread carefully through the room as he passed the sleeping form of Gaius.

He reached the door and slowly opened it and peered up and down the hallway. He felt momentary relief wash over him as he noticed the hallway was empty of guards, and Merlin quickly stepped out into the lit hallway and closed the door gently behind him.

Less than a minute later, Merlin was outside. He shivered as the cold night air hit his face and went through the wool of his coat, but he quickly shrugged it off and pressed on. The moon was brighter when it was unobstructed by a window, and the white light lit up his surroundings and made them appear almost surreal. The damage from that night's battle was still strewn around on the cobblestoned road. The remains of an overturned cart took up most of the space in the narrow street, its front end had been reduced to ashes and splintered wood. Large boulders destroyed much of the road, and in one area had caused one portion of the servants’ quarters to collapse. The gigantic rock that was not too far from the stone steps was still smouldering despite the time that went by since the battle.

He knew that he had to be careful now that he was out in the open. If anybody caught sight of him, there was a chance that he’d have a lot more to worry about than a night in prison. Now that the kingdom was on high alert, there was a high possibility that those that broke curfew would be killed on the spot. He shuddered at the thought as he darted quickly into the shadows and made his way to the city walls as quickly as he could.

As he walked, he thought of the last encounter he had with Kilgharrah. It was almost as though the dragon knew what Merlin intended to do, and had given him a piercing look as well as a grave warning. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that he wasn’t looking forward to seeing Kilgharrah tonight. He felt sure that the reason for why the Great Dragon chose to return back to Camelot was because he knew that Morgana knew what he truly was.

_The witch must never know who you truly are, Merlin._

He had sworn to protect his secret and he had failed in doing so. It wasn’t the threat that Morgana posed to him that worried him so much. It was the threat she presented to Arthur that made his heart clench tightly in his chest. He felt suddenly guilty as the thought went through his mind. He hadn’t thought of Arthur and his safety when he had been so honest with Morgana. Instead, he had forgotten all about his protector as he tried to save Camelot from destruction.

 _Not that I was successful,_ Merlin thought savagely as he crawled over a large portion of rocks and splintered wood. He nearly fell into the ruins of a house that leaned dangerously over the road, and figured that the debris directly in front of the damaged building used to be the front wall and part of the roof. Camelot had nearly fallen into enemy hands thanks to his negligence.

He came to an abrupt stop when he neared the last of the houses before the large gate that opened up into the forest beyond. He knew that there would be a large presence of soldiers here tonight, and while he could not hear them, he knew it would be foolish to dart across the road and through one of the crumbled sections of wall. For a moment, he debated his options. Was it worth using magic to divert attention? It seemed foolish to even think about. Every knight would be on high alert, and would know where the magic originated from if he was observant enough.

With his heart beating loudly in his chest, Merlin decided to throw all caution to the wind and run to the portion of wall that had crumbled completely. The darkness of the forest looked formidable to him as he gathered his courage to dash across the road.

Merlin took a deep breath, looked around for obvious signs of guards and bolted across the wide space that made up the main road, and scrambled over rocks to get through the opening. He fell hard on his hands and knees on hard earth on the other side of the wall. His heart thumped loudly in his chest as he listened to the silence of the night. He expected to hear the startled cries of many men, yelling at him to stop and to identify himself. The silence unnerved him as he crouched panting in the darkness of the forest. There was no sound of rushing footsteps to investigate what had happened, no sound of panicked cries that would wake up civilians and sleeping soldiers alike, and there was no sound of the unsheathing of swords, and demands for him to show himself.

_“Merlin.”_

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Kilgharrah’s voice, and slid down a small hill in his panic. He threw an anxious look back in the direction of the damaged wall before he took off at a run to where he knew the Great Dragon waited for him.

* * *

 

Merlin had expected Kilgharrah’s anger. He had expected the rearing of the great head, the anguish in the dragon’s voice as he heard from Merlin’s own mouth what had happened, and the flames. However, the Great Dragon’s actual reaction stunned him into silence.

“The Witch knows your secret.” Kilgharrah’s amber eyes were locked on Merlin’s with such intensity that he found that he could not look away. The voice was soft, almost to the point that it was a hiss, and though Merlin could hear the anger in the dragon’s words, the surprise was nowhere to be found. “Tell me that this is not true, Merlin.”

“I had to tell her, Kilgharrah. It was the only way to stop her...”

The Great Dragon roared in anger at his words. “The Witch chose her path, Merlin! There is no stopping her from her ultimate destruction. She made the decision to go to the side of evil, and study the darkest of magic that not even you can hope to defeat. You never had any obligation to tell her your secret, and now that the Witch knows, she will bring about the end of everything you hold dear.”

“She wouldn’t go after her own kind, would she?” Merlin asked desperately. The dragon seemed to sense the plea that he tried to keep hidden from his voice because suddenly, Kilgharrah’s eyes softened and his face relaxed.

“You and Morgana are as different as you are alike. She is the darkness of your light, the hatred to your love. There is no changing that. The only thing that makes you similar is how you shape the future.”

“What does that mean? What does the future hold now?”

“You and Arthur are to build Albion together. The Witch intends to destroy it. There is only one way the end will come, and it is you, Merlin, that can help shape that future.”

Merlin felt a cold hand clench around his heart and squeeze tightly. He heard the words that Kilgharrah said, but they seemed to echo in his mind instead of sinking in. He shook his head, unable to breathe and tried to move away from the dragon but couldn’t find it in himself to do even that.

Finally he was able to look up into the Great Dragon’s face. “You are telling me that Morgana must die?”

“I am not telling you anything,” said Kilgharrah harshly. “However, the more powerful the Witch gets, the more difficult it will be to defeat her.”

He felt strangely hollow at the dragon’s words, but knew that they were the truth. However, he still felt a small beacon of hope that Morgana would change that now she knew there was somebody like her in Camelot that she’d use her magic for good and leave Morgause for good.

“Morgana has made her choice, Merlin.” Kilgharrah’s voice was soft when Merlin voiced his thoughts out loud. “There is nothing that you can possibly do to change this. There is no magic powerful enough to change the outcome of something as simple as a decision. It’s what we do with our choices that define both who and what we become.”

Merlin felt overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness at these words. He felt as though every last flickering ray of hope that things would go back to way they were before everything went horribly wrong went out. The future was bleak and dark. He had made a choice that had ruined both his and Arthur’s destiny.

“You should not blame yourself,” Kilgharrah said kindly after a few moments of silence. “You thought you were doing something right. What you did was make a sacrifice that not too many men would make in the hope it saves countless of lives.”

“Do you think I made a mistake in telling Morgana about my magic?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think,” said the dragon after a brief hesitation. “What is done is done. You made the decision to tell the Witch something that could bring about your own destruction. The question that you have to answer is whether you are willing to suffer the consequences of that choice, and what you will do about it?”

“A simple yes or no would be more help to me than your riddles,” Merlin said annoyed. He felt the pangs of another headache, and rubbed at his temples for a minute to gather himself.

“I am not here to give you direct answers to your problems, Merlin.” The dragon sounded amused, but he quickly became grim once more. “You are in more danger than ever before, young warlock. The war for Camelot and the future of Albion has officially begun, and you need to be wary, for even the most trusted ally can be your worst enemy.” Kilgharrah paused and looked down at Merlin solemnly. “There is always a price to be paid for every choice we make, regardless of how small or how big it is. It has been this way since time began. You cannot alter your fate. What is meant to be is meant to be. However, the fate of Arthur and of the kingdom he is to build rests entirely on you, Merlin. Every decision you make, every action you take, decides the future forever.”

Merlin looked up at the dragon startled at these words. “What do you...”

“There is no magic in the world that is strong enough to repair the damage one can cause. Once something is destroyed, it is gone for good. Arthur’s dream of uniting all of Albion will never come to pass if you are careless.”

“Is there anything that I can do to repair the damage I caused tonight?”

Kilgharrah looked down at him sympathetically. “No, there is nothing you can do to take back your actions tonight. The only thing you can do to make things right is to suffer any of the consequences that come your way for your decisions. But be warned, Merlin, the Witch will do everything in her power to get you out of the way. There is no telling what she is capable of now that she knows that you stand in her way of power.”

Before Merlin had a chance to say anything, the Great Dragon spread his gigantic wings and took off into the night, leaving him with more worries than he ever had before.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, I've come back with a new chapter. I've decided that in an attempt to save my sanity that I am going to publish the chapter as is. I've been nitpicking sentences for the last few weeks, and have been adding and removing things, rewriting and reworking. Originally, this chapter stood at more than 8k, but I've decided that I should shorten it and have the remainder as the beginning of the next chapter.

_“You and Arthur are to build Albion together. The Witch intends to destroy it. There is only one way the end will come…”_

Merlin was troubled by the Great Dragon’s warning, and had spent sleepless hours mulling his words and the sudden predicament that he now found himself in. When he finally did fall asleep, it was filled with troubling dreams and lost promises. He saw a Camelot divided by war and famine, of dark magic that even he couldn’t imagine, and of a black raven whose eyes flashed gold as it neared him. In his dreams, he saw a large round table fragmented in two, of knights wearing Camelot’s proud dragon fighting each other mercilessly, and of Arthur… laying wounded and dying with a sword wedged deep in his heart.

He woke up with a scream in his throat, breathing hard as though he had run from a far distance, and he fought hard to control his breathing as Gaius entered the bedchamber with a fearful expression on his face.

“The Lady Morgana wishes to have a word with you,” Gaius said as he closed the door quickly behind him. He looked so worried that Merlin felt as though his heart would drop.

Merlin leaped out of bed panic-stricken, and grabbed for some clothes as Gaius sank shakily to sit upon the cot. For a few moments, he struggled with his trousers, putting them on backwards before realising his mistake and doing it over.

“Did she say why she wanted to see me this early in the morning?” Merlin asked with clenched teeth as he fought with his shoes. “Did she say anything to you about last night? You don’t think she’s told Arthur or the king about me, do you?”

Gaius shook his head looking sombre. “She wouldn’t tell me the reason for her visit, other than the fact that she wants to talk to you.” He turned away from Merlin as if in pain and his hands shook. “I doubt that she’s gone to Uther. It wouldn’t make sense for her to come all this way after telling him a thing like that.”

“You said that she’s changed,” Merlin said bitterly, throwing a nervous look over his shoulder at the door. “There’s no telling what she’s up to now that she has something as dark as magic held over my head.”

Gaius’ sharp intake of breath told him that he had said the wrong thing. He chanced a look over at the bed to where his uncle sat with narrowed eyes and arms crossed sternly over his chest.

“You of all people should know that your magic is not dark,” he hissed between clenched teeth, and Merlin saw that Gaius’ eyes flashed in anger. “You made your choice and you choose to use your magic for good. There’s no such thing as good and bad magic, Merlin. It’s what you choose for yourself that makes the magic fall into either category.”

“What do you think I should do, Gaius?” he asked suddenly feeling as though he were a helpless child. “I know the damage I’ve done with telling her the truth, but I feel completely hopeless with knowing where to go from here…”

The old physician held up a hand and interrupted him. “I cannot give you advice for where to go from here. However, I can give you a word of caution that you need to be extremely careful from now on. There is no way of knowing what will happen after you leave the safety of these chambers, but whatever happens you need to find the courage to face the unknown.”

Merlin gave his uncle a strange look. “I always find the courage to face the unknown, Gaius.”

Gaius gave a strangled laugh and motioned him to open the door. “It’s for the best that we don’t keep the Lady Morgana waiting for too long. She may get suspicious enough to investigate what is taking you so long.”

“I’ll see you later,” Merlin said in a bright voice as he threw open the door and walked out. “I’ll see if I can find some rosemary for supper tonight. I know how much you love that herb with chicken.”

He caught sight of Morgana sitting down at the long work bench, her gaze upon one of the many books that littered Gaius’ front room. She was resplendent in a dress of dark blue, and she wore her hair in a long plait that went down her back. She looked up from the book that seemed to have enraptured her attention and stared long and hard at Merlin for a moment.

“I know you weren’t expecting to see me this early in the morning,” she said silkily, looking away from Merlin to focus her attention on some phials that contained an assortment of medication. “However, I’ve found that I am rather troubled about the events of last night and so I’ve decided to seek you out to discuss them.”

Merlin found it difficult to believe that this was the only reason for why Morgana sought him out this early in the morning, but was able to keep the doubt from showing on his face.

“Surely this could have waited until later, then?” he asked her, trying with all his might to keep his emotions under control. “I mean, wouldn’t it have been suspicious that you were coming out here within minutes of the sun rising just to talk to me? What if you were caught or followed?”

“That never seemed to cause you concern before.” Morgana dealt the blow with a forced smile and eyes that were full of cold hate. “Of course, you did change just as much as I did. Though who knew that a man such as you could become a coward within the year that I was gone.”

Merlin flinched at her words but said nothing to them. He knew that this was a new game that Morgana was playing, and he was determined not to allow her to win. To show her weakness now would mean he would be forever at the mercy of a woman who intended to destroy everything that he and Arthur were trying to build together.

“Come now, Merlin, you cannot pretend that last night didn’t happen.” Morgana’s voice was harsh, and her eyes appeared icier than ever. “You have magic, you admitted as much to me when you tried to stop me. Now I want to know why you told me something that was so close to your heart.”

Merlin’s mouth felt suddenly dry, and he found that he couldn’t talk. What could he possibly say to her now that she was speaking so freely about this. Could he trust her enough to say what was truly in his heart? He debated internally with himself for a few seconds before he threw a look over his shoulder at the bedchamber where he could see Gaius still sitting upon the bed with his eyes shut.

“Come walk with me, Merlin.”

Merlin whirled around to where Morgana was and saw that the young noblewoman had stood to her feet and was now by the door. He peered back over his shoulder, made a quick decision and stepped towards the king’s ward. He saw her smile widen as he opened the door for her, felt her take his arm with hers, and was led out into the corridor and towards the other end of the servant’s quarters.

“The staircase on the other side is nearly destroyed,” she said softly. “Of course, we could repair it with magic, but that would be too suspicious when the guards have already informed Uther.”

Merlin chose not to say anything until after Morgana had led him out into the gardens behind the castle. Here and there, he caught sight of a few sleepy guards that had been deemed fit enough for duty, and he briefly wondered if they would ever be truly alright after the horrors of the previous night. He saw Sir Leon leaning dangerously upon his pike, and he questioned how long it had been since the knight last slept.

Morgana released her hold upon his arm under the safety of a weeping willow tree, whose long whip like branches played lazily with the slow-moving river within sight of the garden wall. A terrible silence fell upon them, and for a moment, Merlin wondered if he had made a mistake with allowing himself to be with a woman that he now considered a stranger.

“I once loved it here, you know?” Morgana said so bitterly that it took him by complete surprise. The soft honking of a swan alerted them to the magnificent white bird just as it appeared under the branches of the willow tree, but it continued on without barely a glance in their direction. “Now all I feel is resentment towards this place because it means pain and misery.”

“It doesn’t have to mean any of those things.” Even as he said the words, Merlin felt surprised by them. He could tell that Morgana felt amazed by them as well, and suddenly he felt the urge to continue talking to her… to try to reach her if he could, and to try to bring her back to the people that truly loved and cared for her. “If you were to open your eyes more, you’d be able to see more than the bad in Camelot.”

“With this king, Merlin?” Morgana scoffed, pushing him away from her and moving as close as she dared to the river. “No matter your loyalties, you must hide your true self because if you reveal who you are, only death awaits you.” She turned to him, her eyes angry. “You may be able to live like this, but I cannot! I will not be a traitor to my… to our kind. I will not sit by idly and watch as Uther ruthlessly murders hundreds of innocents, just because they were born with magic.”

“And you think that I do nothing? Do you think I turn a blind eye to the massacres? To the men, women, and children that Uther has sentenced to death because of magic?”

“You don’t stand up for these people!” Morgana met his gaze indignantly. “You are like Arthur, too ashamed to stand up and speak out. Now, I’ve realised why it is that you never do the right thing and challenge Uther. It’s because you are trying to save your own skin! Those people that are condemned to die because of their magic are just like you, and you just watch them burn.”

“If we are discussing who is more guilty in this, we should bring Morgause’s name into the matter,” Merlin said heatedly. “After all, she adds more fuel to the fire by resorting to active warfare against the king by using magic of the darkest kind. Then instead of owning up to her actions, she watches as others are punished for it!”

“Don’t you ever say those things about her!” Morgana cried out, her eyes flashing gold, and suddenly Merlin found that the long branches of the willow had come alive, twisting themselves around his waist and arms. “She’s done nothing to you.”

“She enchanted you!” Merlin roared in anger and frustration. “She’s only using you. Why is it that you are turning a blind eye to the truth? She thinks little of you. You are nothing more than her pawn in her game. She finds you disposable. If it isn’t you, then it is somebody else who is vulnerable. At least in Camelot you have people who truly care and love you. Morgause is incapable of feeling any such emotion.”

“She’s my sister,” Morgana said with tears streaming down her cheeks. “She cares more about me than anyone within the walls of Camelot. When she came into my life, I felt that she truly understood me, and had fully accepted me for who and what I am. I thought that you would understand…”

Merlin struggled against the branches that were now wrapping themselves around his neck. “She’s using you, Morgana. She is teaching you to use your magic in a way that will destroy you…”

“How do you know?” Morgana screamed at him. “At least you have somebody in your life to teach you how to control your magic. I have nobody!”

“I didn’t have anybody, either.” Merlin felt the branches tighten around his throat, and knew that if he didn’t do something quickly, that everything would be lost. “I didn’t have anybody before I came to Camelot. Even now, I am on my own when it comes to my magic.”

The branches loosened their grip, and Morgana moved towards him awkwardly. “You are?” she asked with eyes wide. “But, I thought that maybe Gaius…”

“Gaius has taught me how to be careful with my magic,” said Merlin truthfully. “He taught me not to use it for my own gain and wants. However, he hasn’t really taught me how to control it. I suspect he believes that there is no real way to control something you can’t help. It causes him a bit of trouble sometimes.”

“If you can’t control your magic, then why are you in Camelot?” Morgana questioned, and though her voice was soft, Merlin could hear the challenge within her question. “Are you not afraid of what will happen to you if you’re ever discovered?”

“If I spent my life being afraid of who and what I am, then I wouldn’t have a chance to live.” He met Morgana’s look of defiance and held. “Camelot is where I belong. Even the threat of being burnt alive doesn’t change the fact that this is my home.” He paused long enough to allow these words to sink in and have their affect before continuing. “You don’t have to change yourself just because you have magic, Morgana. Anybody that is telling you that you must become something other than who you are is only taking advantage of you and your vulnerabilities.”

For a long time, Morgana didn’t speak. She gave Merlin a tragic look before turning her back on him, preferring instead to look out at the water. The long branches of the willow tree finally released their hold on Merlin, and he rubbed at his arms to get some feeling into them again.

“She’s my sister, Merlin. I cannot just abandon her and pretend that she doesn’t exist.”

He heard the pain in her voice and took half a step towards her before he realised what he was doing. Instead he stood behind her awkwardly, not exactly knowing what to say or do, but at the same time unwilling to leave her alone.

“She was the only one who was able to truly help me.” Morgana turned to face Merlin again, this time her eyes full of tears. “For the first time in a long time, I felt that I was accepted by somebody who truly understood me, and who knew what I was going through.”

Merlin was about to respond but Morgana held up her hand and stopped him before he could say anything.

“Morgause taught me enough about magic to show that it isn’t something to be afraid of,” she said with a hint of harshness in her voice. “You knew I had magic long before I ever found out that I had a sister, and yet you did nothing. You chose to watch me suffer every day…”

“What was I supposed to do?” Merlin cut in sharply. “To tell you would have put your life in danger! Uther was getting suspicious enough with your nightmares and strange accidents. Even if I did do the right thing and teach you how to better control your magic, the possibility that we’d be caught… that you’d be executed…”

“No, instead you chose to poison me,” said Morgana shrilly. “That day you acted as judge, jury and executioner. At least in my case, Uther would have enough heart to give me a trial!”

Merlin opened his mouth to retort but thought better of it when he heard movement not too far away from the willow tree. Moments later, Arthur burst through the branches of the willow tree, his face frantic. He came to an abrupt stop, his mouth falling open in surprise as he took in the scene in front of him, but then his eyes hardened and he looked towards Morgana.

“Is everything alright?” Arthur asked sharply. “I heard loud voices and… Morgana are you crying?”

“Oh, I am okay, Arthur.” Morgana hastily brushed away the tears and gave him a wet smile. “Merlin and I were just talking about my captivity. He saw me out here when he was fetching some peaches for your breakfast. I was really upset and we started talking…”

Arthur threw a dirty look in Merlin’s direction. “I was just down the hallway. You could have come to me if you were upset.”

“Now really, I am fine. Merlin here was a great listener, and he gave me some advice for what to do about any nightmares I may suffer from.” She looked Arthur up and down, seeming to notice at the exact same time that Merlin did that something was very wrong. “What is it, Arthur? What is wrong?”

“Something happened in a village not too far from here. Reports came in from the garrison just now that Morgause was spotted there,” Arthur said watching Morgana closely. “My father went directly to your bedchambers and realised that you weren’t anywhere in sight. He raised the alarm and now the entire castle is out searching for you.”

Morgana looked terrified, but Merlin suspected that it had nothing to do with the fact that Morgause had been spotted close by. He couldn’t put his finger on what could have caused her to be so scared as usually the king’s ward would have a witty remark for both Uther and Arthur.

“Oh, I better hurry to the castle to explain matters to Uther.” She picked up her skirts and hurried past Arthur and brushing aside the long branches of the willow tree to get through them. However, before she stepped out of the shade of the tree she turned back to Merlin and gave him one of her smiles. “I hope we can continue our conversation later? I find that you give me a lot of comfort by just listening to me.”

It was a few minutes after the sound of Morgana’s hurrying footsteps were no longer heard that Arthur spoke. Merlin who had wanted to fill in the awkward silence with some sort of explanation was interrupted when the young prince held up his hand, his face hard.

“I thought I had warned you about seeing Morgana alone like this,” said Arthur harshly. He stopped Merlin’s stuttering with a look that reminded the young warlock of a cat’s unblinking stare. “The Lady Morgana went through a lot during the past year…”

“We weren’t doing anything other than talking,” Merlin interrupted loudly. He didn’t know if he was more incensed by Arthur’s insinuation that anything was going on between him and Morgana, or by the fact that Morgana had refused to accept reality about Morgause. “There was nothing going on at all…”

“We are needed in the Council Room.” Arthur turned on his heel and stalked away from Merlin, but he stopped and looked back at the manservant with a strange expression on his face. “There is something wrong, Merlin. I can feel it deep within my gut that something terrible is going to happen. For now, though, we are needed by the Council. There is something that my father needs to talk to us about.”

Merlin made a face as he followed the prince from out of the willow tree and back to the castle. He was troubled by what Arthur had said to him, and though he didn’t want to admit it out loud, he felt that Arthur had very good reason to worry.

* * *

 

Merlin had observed over the years that there were different stages to Arthur’s anger, and that depending upon just how angry he was, that it came out in different ways. He had thought that he had been the brunt of Arthur’s ill temper in all its forms, but while they were walking down the hallway leading to the room that the council usually held their meetings, Merlin realised that he had never seen the young prince look nearly as angry as he did now. His face appeared almost statue like in appearance, with skin drawn tight over his cheekbones, and his lips were drawn tightly together, giving him the appearance that he did not have a mouth whatsoever. However, it was Arthur’s eyes that gave him pause. They appeared like stones, hard, cold and pitiless.

He followed Arthur without a word. It wasn’t often that he had witnessed Arthur as livid as he was now, and felt that it was a truly terrifying thought to be with him. However, he felt that his anger, however strong it was now, was not aimed entirely at him. He knew that most of it was due to the worry that he had just admitted to Merlin, and for one heart stopping moment, he wondered if Arthur knew about Morgana’s treason. Perhaps he had worked it out for himself after piecing everything together. However, with this thought, there was another moment’s worth of panic. If Arthur ever found out about Morgana, then he would undoubtedly find out about him as well.

He forced himself to remain calm as Arthur slammed open the doors and strode inside a cavernous room that had high windows that had been done in a fashion that Merlin had seen in Francia a few years earlier. At first, Merlin thought that they had arrived late, and that the meeting had ended, and had turned to Arthur to state this when he noticed that the prince’s face was white with fury. He looked around the room and realised for the first time since he had arrived in Camelot, that the council were arguing amongst themselves. He spotted Uther immediately. The king stood at the front of the room with Gaius at his side, one hand upon the top of his chair, the other upon his hip. He watched the scene going on around him in silent anger, his face so like Arthur’s that it was almost uncanny.

Arthur strode forward, unsheathed his sword, and smashed the flat of it against the table. The loud clang was enough to make everyone within the room to pause and look around.

“I think everyone should sit down,” said Arthur, and though he said it in a soft voice, it was almost as though he had shouted the words. He wrenched a chair from the table and took his seat, motioning to Merlin to do the same, and glared at everyone within the room when they hesitated. “I am sure that my father, the king, wishes to speak to the council.”

Uther’s nostrils flared as he watched the members of the council take their seats without saying a word. For several moments, nobody dared to speak or look at each other. Merlin could feel the king’s rage and knew that it was going to be unleashed upon them all at any moment. For a few minutes, Uther stood at the head of the table and didn’t move or speak. His blue eyes were as cold as ice as he surveyed each man seated before him with an unblinking stare, his mouth drawn in such a tight line that Merlin didn’t think it were possible for him to ever talk, and he was so still that he didn’t appear to be breathing at all.

After a moment or so, Uther slowly lowered himself into his chair next to Gaius, his eyes still hard with fury. However, when he spoke, it was in a voice of forced calm, and Merlin knew that this was when the king was at his most dangerous mood.

“Now that we have been seated and that the council has stopped arguing amongst themselves, I think we can begin our meeting.” Uther’s eyes flashed angrily as he gazed at each man before him. “As most of you have heard by now, the castle of Dimilioc has been destroyed.”

Merlin heard what Uther had said but it took a few moments for the news to really sink in. When it did, he looked up so quickly at Arthur that his neck cricked. As he sat rubbing the back of his neck, Arthur got up from his seat and turned his back to the council. He knew that the prince took the loss of Dimilioc as a personal blow. It was one of the most formidable fortresses in all of Camelot, and its loss was staggering.

“How many?” Arthur asked, his back still turned to the table, and though his voice was normal, Merlin could see that his hands were trembling.

“The entire garrison,” Uther said gravely, his eyes upon Arthur’s back. “From the reports of the relief force that had been sent, nothing remains of Dimilioc. Every defender was lost in the attack. The surrounding town and countryside has been laid waste to.”

Arthur whirled around to face his father, his blue eyes intent upon the king’s. “How did it happen? Dimilioc was one of the strongest of our defences. How could an enemy force take over and destroy such a place without us hearing about it?”

Merlin caught Gaius’ eye and knew at once what had caused Dimilioc’s destruction. Uther was silent, an ominous sign that he knew exactly what happened. Merlin looked wildly at Arthur, saw the anger and the grief etched deep on the prince’s face, but then realisation dawned in his eyes, and the warlock knew at once that Arthur came to the same conclusion that whatever had caused Dimilioc to be destroyed was not caused by an army.

“Are you saying that Dimilioc… that all of this devastation… was caused by magic?” Arthur asked furiously. “All those men that defended… that protected…”

“They were killed before the relief force ever got there, Arthur. It doesn’t mean that the defenders of Dimilioc never tried to fight. From the reports, there was an army that was present. Why else would the relief force go there if there wasn’t an enemy within sight?” Uther said wearily, watching as Arthur slowly sank back down into his seat. Merlin hurriedly got to his feet and grabbed the prince’s arm to guide him into the chair before he could fall to the floor. “Magic destroyed the fortress. The military force laid waste to the surrounding area.”

“Morgause,” Arthur whispered to himself, as though he were the only person in the room other than his father and Merlin. “Morgause was behind this. She must have been. However, the army that was with her…”

“Must be stopped.” Uther finished for him in a voice that echoed loudly around the room like thunder. “If we do not stop this army and this sorcerer as soon as possible, then more lives will be lost. We cannot afford to go to war, but if there is no other option, then we will have no other alternative but to engage our armies.”

An old soldier near Merlin coughed and shakily raised his hand. At first, it didn’t seem possible that the man could speak as coughs soon racked his entire body. Uther waited patiently for the coughs to subside before gesturing for him to speak.

“How do we find out which army was responsible for this? If our relief forces got to Dimilioc too late, then that army would have been long gone. Unless you have some suspicion as to who gave out orders to cross into our borders and attack one our strongholds?”

Uther was silent for a moment, pondering the question before looking up at the soldier who had asked it. “There is only one man that I consider a great threat, and that is Cenred. I wouldn’t put it past him to ally himself with sorcerers as long as that means he gets exactly what he wants.”

“If he’s got the followers of the Old Religion on his side, then don’t you think it would be wise for us…” the old soldier began.

“I will not allow magic to return to this kingdom, Anicius!” Uther said furiously, leaning forward with his eyes flashing dangerously, both hands clutching the arms of his chair so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “You of all people should know how those people are. Sorcerers are not to be trusted. They claim to fight for one side, while sneaking off to the generals of the other to whisper in their ear. People of magic would sooner destroy us and everything we hold dear than to truly help us.”

Merlin frowned at this but didn’t say a word. According to a story he had heard from Gaius, Uther had many sorcerers who had been fighting in his wars to destroy the followers of the Old Religion. He wondered how the king could have forgotten their sacrifice to Camelot, but knew that Uther wanted his enemies to believe that he was the sole reason for the destruction of the Old Religion. It wasn’t difficult for Merlin to know that in the world of kings, that the most powerful and formidable leader gained more respect, and Uther was amongst the most feared when it came to those foolish enough to make war with Camelot.

“I was not going to suggest that we ally ourselves with such people,” Anicius said with a shake of his grey head. He looked nervously around the table at the faces of his fellow council members. Merlin noticed that there were a few of them that refused to look at Anicius, and the ones that did appeared grim faced. “Shouldn’t we appeal to our allies and ask for support? King Lot…”

“… is a young fool,” Uther interrupted sharply. “He is inexperienced when it comes to the ways of war, and lacks a decent soldier’s education.”

“King Lot is more aware of war than we give him credit for, father.” Arthur’s face was still very white, but his voice was strong. “His kingdom has been battling the Saxons for years. He has been successful with driving those barbarians out of his borders. If there is one man that deserves to be trusted as an ally, it would be Lot.”

The look that Uther gave to his son was unfathomable. Arthur stared at his father defiantly, his jaw jutting out in that familiar way that told Merlin that the prince would stand his ground no matter the cost. The room had suddenly become very uncomfortable and cold, and the warlock began to wish that he was able to wield enough power to speak out, to do something to keep Arthur in check, but he could only sit helpless in his chair as the young prince’s temper got the best of him.

“We have lost hundreds of our men in a battle that they were unprepared for. A castle that we thought was indestructible has been destroyed in a way that defies our laws of war. How can we possibly fight an enemy that uses magic without allies?” Arthur demanded, his voice rang loudly throughout the room, and though he only had eyes for his father, it was clear that the men who made up the council had been affected by his words. “How can we protect our people and our way of life if we are fighting against an enemy that uses such tactics? How can we fight this war without our allies becoming involved? We need to be united in this! If Camelot is being affected by such an enemy, it will only be a matter of time before the other kingdoms throughout this land are also affected.”

“I will not allow an opening for our enemies to launch an attack against this kingdom! If our allies find out about this and offer their help, there will be those that will take advantage of this problem and will use it as a weakness.”

“You are being unreasonable…”

Uther slammed his fist onto the table and rose from his chair. “I am doing what is best for this kingdom! I will not allow our weaknesses to become a strength for any of our enemies. I won’t allow it! The only way for us to get to the bottom of this is by getting rid of the problem using our own resources…”

“I will not lead men to their deaths against an enemy that cannot be defeated by normal means of war!” Arthur bellowed as he too rose to his feet to square off against his father. “If this was just Cenred’s doing, I would. However, to go up against a possible army of sorcerers would be suicide. We already lost three hundred of our men in one day! I will not go marching with an army of thousands, only to have those thousands die before we ever find out what is truly going on.”

“You will do what I say,” Uther said, his voice deadly as he glared across the table at his son.

Arthur shook his head. “Camelot will be without an army if we face up against whatever or whoever it was that caused Dimilioc to fall. Our priority should be the people of Camelot. How can we protect our people without an army? Whatever is going on has caused the deaths of hundreds of our finest soldiers. If it got through them, then surely it will go through a strong force made up of thousands of men.”

“You are to find out what is truly going on,” Uther said decisively. “I want to know if Cenred is indeed behind this, and whether or not he has truly allied himself with sorcerers. If it causes a depletion of our army, then so be it. I will not sacrifice the rest of this kingdom to a man who refuses to acknowledge our borders.”

Arthur appeared as though he wanted to argue further, but he didn’t say one more word. For a moment, he glared at his father, then turned on his heel and marched towards the door. He hesitated with one hand upon the latch of the door and glanced back at Uther who had turned his back on him.

“No, but you’ll sacrifice the lives of thousands because you want to jump blindly,” Arthur said loudly, his blue eyes cold with fury. “It’s not just the lives of Camelot’s knights that will be on the line, father. Soon, the people of Camelot will be the target of these attacks, and there is not one thing we can do to prevent that.”

With those words, Arthur threw open the door and stalked out of the room without saying another word. Merlin followed him, his mind in turmoil as he thought of the events of the past few days. One thing was certain, Arthur’s premonition that something was going to happen had come true, and the warlock was certain that the fate of Camelot rested entirely on his and Arthur’s shoulders.

 


End file.
